Lucky Stars 3: The Pop Singer Wish

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I know something you don't You'll face fears that I won't Imagine the mountains we could climb The sky's the limit, we can fly! We can fly!

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To edit, the 'edit' is greyed out until you put your mouse over the word - to the left of 'multiquote', bottom left of the post. See the 2x2 bold lines above, I think the verse is fine without them, can you think of them - if you want to keep them - as separate perhaps, tie them into the prechorus maybe?

I get to the verse line before the bolded lines and think, good verse, read them and think, they don't fit, don't feel right somehow. Is it the 2nd line you know that they don't? I'm asking as each one seems a single statement - they can exist on their own. Overall, you've done a pretty good job of writing what would seem a cheesy subject by bringing in some good lines like:. Now your imagined Kate Perry style, you're appealing to young teenage girls 'in the main', so cheesy might work fine.

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As in from a boy band to a girl? I don't know why, maybe it's because your you, or maybe it's because a guy talks to a girl about her beauty while a girl talks to a guy about him being handsome, but I don't hear these words coming out of a female singers mouth to woo the boy of her dreams. Maybe others will say I'm talking 'tosh', you've written a unisex lyric - except for 'a blindman'. All just things - food for thought.

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Thanks guys, I will respond to each comment this far. Then I went to delete the comment in which I mentioned the typo yet accidentally deleted the main song.

Thats what I get for posting on here after getting home from a long overnighter shift at work Funny you should mention those 2 lines being better suited to a prechorus, as thats where they always were in the writing stage, they were actually a prechorus coming after a verse that ended up not being written. I had been writing songs that were too "wordy" for lack of a better term, and was trying to write more cheesy pop style I had always seen pop as being something I didnt wanna write, so I set myself a challenge. Read our Privacy Policy to find out more.

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